red-head.

So let me try to explain this. I'm really glad you like stuff about me. I'm glad I can be around for now. It's cool that a male version of me would be acceptable to have a super nice indie life with.

But in my mind, that's the equivalent of someone not wanting to keep me because I'm not a natural red-head.

I pull very little from my gender. I don't actually care about being a girl. I'm fine with who I am, and no matter what, I hope I would be this person, despite what societal definition of gender was imposed on me. I like to think I'd be exactly the same if I had dude parts. I'd like to think you'd see me in exactly the same way.

Being with you isn't an option, which is fine, I'd rather have a temporary you than a never you. I'm not looking for anything more and I have no romantic feelings towards you.

I'm pretty happy. With how we are and the things we do and the present.

But it's still kind of off-putting. Especially when things seem to be going not-so-hot with these guys who's greatest qualification is their male-ness. I'm just sitting here like, "I won't mean as much because... I can't believe in anything long-term because... Why ? Because I'm not as great as they are?"

I could go on about this for a while, but I know I'm pretty wrong.

In the end, I get it, I'm glad you're honest. It makes me feel fairly good most of the time, like it's a compliment of my existence in a general sense and stuff.

I'm just not as understanding as I'd like to be.