sacrilegious nonsense, and also swearing. (the usual.)

I was raised right. My parents set me up, first class tickets to Heaven, bought at their expense and handed to me on a silver platter; I didn't know suffering! I thought God was beautiful, my beautiful friend. I never heard his voice, but they told me he loved me. What kid doesn't believe in the love of those who seem so much bigger than them? 

But now that I'm big, too, I realize how small we are. I realize that sometimes, love is just a word we use to make ourselves feel better. 

Now I see what this religion has bred. Misogyny, racism, prejudice, hatred, bloodshed, pain. It's not God's fault though, right? "It's the fault of this human sin!"

God made humans, God made everything, God made it imperfect. It was good? Good enough. But not perfect. How could it not be his fault? Surely the ALL-POWERFUL GOD OF THE UNIVERSE was capable of making something that wouldn't shatter after a few days of running around naked and wonderful.

I am small! I am tiny! And the tragedies of this world are strapped onto my back?

Following God never made me happy. I realize the point isn't to be happy. But if it feels all wrong, how can it be right? What about conscience, what about our natural compass? I feel one way, they tell me I'm wrong.

The needle spins and spins and spins!

But I have no conscience, I guess. My queer lust and confusion threw it off a year ago, right? I'm just too gay to see straight. I'm just too liberal to be intelligent. 

I'm just so fucking fucked up and it's all my fucking fault!

... Honestly, I don't want someone to blame for that, for how fucked up I am. I don't think I'm all that bad, definitely not evil. Sure, I've got my flaws but I also like myself a lot and I'm alright.

I am small and I am tiny but I've tried to fit the universe inside my skull. And no matter how hard I look, I see no Christian God, I see no place for him, or his holy book, or his preachers, or his pretend perfection, or his claims to justice. 

I'm not saying it's wrong to believe in things, I just don't like it when your beliefs try to force me into compliance as well.

I like girls and profanity and Panic! at the Disco.

Stop telling me to pray, I'd rather go to Hell.