i'm only human, and i like to cuddle.

Dear hypothetical, non-existent you,

I just want to bring you wildflowers and peace tea. 

I want to kiss your knees through the holes in your jeans. 

I want to use your lap as a pillow as you brush your fingers through my hair. When I get a headache, that's all I want. When all the people make me want to sleep, can you just brush your fingers through my hair? Or if that's not socially acceptable at the moment, hold my hand.

I want to smell the smoke on your clothes and wonder at where it came from, what adventure brought it there. I like it. But sometimes I want to smell the dryer sheets. Oh and sometimes we won't need clothes (particularly pants, who needs pants), I'll just bring my nose to your collar and breathe you in.

I want to taste your lips, to memorize how they feel, pressed against mine.

I want to wear something that you picked out, just for me. I don't like shopping all that much, but maybe you'll make it alright. I think I could find some motivation, seeing you all excited about what I should get. Or maybe you don't like shopping either. That's alright, we'll just drag each other out to the mall every now and then. We'll make an adventure of it and reward ourselves afterwards with pretzels or ice cream. Oh and you should borrow my clothes, I like that.

I want to hold your body on cold nights and your fingers on warm ones. 

I want to play you songs on my guitar, listen to you play. I want to share playlists and pandora stations and nights at shows. Show me the things you like, the sounds that make you excited or the songs that perfectly express how you feel. 

I want to see animated movies with you--and maybe scary ones too, if you let me sit close and sometimes hide my face against you. 

I want to give you gifts that are warm, like handmade things or a nice sweater. 

I want to be the little spoon sometimes and the big spoon sometimes; it's fine to trade off, I think. (I'm probably best-suited to big spoon, so that's okay, too.) I'll hold you when you're sad, and I won't tell you to cheer up, I'll just hold you.

I want us to smell similar but different. Well, as long as we smell nice. 

I want to laugh, play, simply enjoy things with you. Little things, huge things, unimportant things, colorful things, quiet things, everythings. 

I want to confuse people, make people uncomfortable, break rules with you. 

I want to get to know you before you go, if you decide to go someday. I can't really tie you to me, and I don't feel that I should. But let's enjoy this very moment. Let's enjoy each other right now. We won't use labels that make things uncomfortable or too high-school. I freak out at commitment, so just be my best friend.

It's not that I desperately need you, and I absolutely won't find someone only for the sake of having someone. But it would be nice to have a hand to hold and to hear a few more excited "see you tomorrow's."