There Are People and These Are Words

When I try to talk to you, it's probably because I'm upset, or because I miss you, or because I need to remember why all these things in life are worth it. It's not like I want to be trouble. Even if I'm lying the whole time, it's better than being alone, so I won't even bother you with my problems. I'll tell you I'm doing fine, just please don't shut up.

I don't dislike you because you're a bad person... I dislike you because I'm a bad person. Everything you do gets on my nerves, and I realize now it's not my business. You make her feel better than I can. I don't know why. But that's the way it is. I'm not going to say I can like you, and I don't agree with the way you've handled things so far... But I'm going to try to back off and watch things happen however they may. Is it too late for that?

If one of us were a guy or something like that, I'd definitely date you. Well, I'd probably date you now, but I don't think you'd be into that... Anyway, you're pretty cool... So...

I don't know many guys like you. You're really nice and you've got great style. I like your shoes a lot. I like that jacket you always wear. You have a nice laugh. I hope you meet somebody nice.

You're the sweetest girl around. You're the only one who tried to understand, the only one who ever brought it up again and told me it was okay to wonder... I wish I could see you more. I'm afraid that after we graduate this June, we're going to lose track of each other, and I really don't want that to happen.

Can you two please stop fighting? The silence after is so awkward. I try to make a joke, but nobody will laugh. Laugh like always...

I wonder sometimes if you even believe all of those friendships are worth something. I wonder if all those pretty words you have to say come from someplace real or not. I wonder what parts of you are honest when I see you in a crowd. Maybe it's because you've already confessed your struggles and flaws to me, but... I think you don't have to pretend to have it all together. People love you, okay? You can let perfection go.

I don't really "like" anybody, but I've never liked anyone as much as I like you.

We don't know each other, but you two, you twins, your music makes me feel like maybe somebody could understand. You do a good thing. You're good, beautiful people.

I really like you as a person. But... Since the beginning of the year, I lack like for you as a teacher. I mean, I respect your position and it's not like I'll misbehave. The rest of the seniors, though... Well, maybe your students would keep quiet and like your class if you hadn't screamed at us for most of first quarter.

You're not fat. Period.

Hey, you. You're a great kid. I'm glad you're finally done wasting your time on a girl who doesn't get it. You're fun. You should come around more often.

When I was younger, I was sort of jealous of your other family. I miss you. I wish you could belong to just us, and that would make it easier. But now I understand some more things. You've got a lot of people who love and miss you too, and you can't be just mine.

I don't support your decision, but I think I can finally let it go and just be there for you.

I don't know if I believe in you any more. I mean, I think I sort of believe in you... I just... Maybe it's more like... I don't know what parts to believe anymore. I'm trying to figure it out and make this thing my own. You know everything already, but... Just thought I'd be consciously up front about it here.

Watching 500 Days of Summer makes me feel dishonest...
I have things to say, and these are just some of them...
But it's better than a greeting card, right?

Never Enough.

"I remember the way you looked in red; I wondered if I was going crazy when I thought maybe you could love me too. I see now I have most definitely gone mad."

I was always right there.

Secrets

And after that night I heard you call him "creepy" for swinging both ways? I realized I could never be honest with you; I could never give you a chance to judge me. I love you, and I wish I knew you could love me no matter what, too.

Research Paper

All these pictures of dying women, bones protruding from pale-paper skin...
If I simply put my hands on their hips, I could break them,
Though they call this strength.
Their brittle bodies will give under the weight of their obsession.
It will never be enough.
And the terrible thing is, I catch myself thinking maybe they've found beauty...

Dear Everybody,

I'm sorry. I'm not good at being the supportive friend. I've tried that, only to see break-ups and screw-ups and ends. I can support your dreams. I can cheer you on in anything, be by your side through everything. But I'm not the best at trusting a stranger with something as special as you, something as precious as your heart. It's not that I don't think you're smart enough to make your own choices. I just really hate to see you cry.

I'm trying to work on this, because someday you are gonna find someone real and it still won't matter what I say; I suppose it shouldn't matter what I say.

Maybe I need to stop being such a cynic. Love isn't for me, but I hope you find it, find someone who will never make you cry.

(It's me that seems to be the problem...)

Mostly, life is alright, not too bad.
Sure, even the little things create this conflict internally.
But outside, no, it's not too bad.

My Dear is a Darling, Bought by Everyone I Know

Let's all compliment her; she'll deny it, but hidden, her ego grows inside. 

Let's all adore her; she'll enjoy it but forget it when loneliness attacks at night. 

Let's all praise her; she needs it to make her feel okay, but she'll always need more.

Let's all sleep with her! She'll feel so desired, but in the morning she'll wake up a whore.

There is no pleasing the proudly insecure.

There is no love in return.

There is no putting her pieces back together. 

There is no love.

There is no love.