he was touching my hair, and telling me about how, at parties, he and his friends try to get girls to make out. he thinks that's hot. he talked about the time two lesbians told him all about their sex life and crying while fucking. when he was talking about sex, he grabbed my hair for just a moment, and pulled- or maybe his fingers were caught in a knot. and i don't want to hate him, but i felt so gross and violated, even though i'm sure most of what he says is bullshit. i felt like he was digging his long fingers into my scalp and through my skull, prodding around in my brain and leaving filthy trails behind.
and i didn't know how to ask him to move his hand.
and the word rape passed his lips too many times.
and i hated my gendered body more than i have in a while.
maybe i'm overthinking it though, he's a friend, and he also talked about guitar and other nice things.
